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Patio Porkers

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a nice little lake community with a bbq problem....

Patio Porkers

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Without rules there is anarchy:

These rules have been established by the Patio Porkers executive committee and indirectly agreed upon by all teams in the competition. There are several un-written rules such as genreal hygene, civility and respect for property. If you have any questions about rules, please contact one of the Patio Porkers.

If you are competing....

If you have a team in the competition, congratulations! You are one of the very lucky participants that happened to enter before all of the spots were full. If you did not make it this time, well I like Guinness. beer.....

There will be a $3.00 entry fee charged to all teams which will cover the cost of the trophy. Please pay Ferguson on the day of the competition.

For the ribs and brisket, you will be responsible for purchasing your teams meat. Please pick baby back ribs and brisket in the 6-9 pound range with both a point and flat attached.

Please bring more meat than you are entering for the competition. During the boston butt tournament, our hungry porkers ate about 35 pounds of chopped pork. We understand that there will not be enough ribs for everyone so we are doing up hot dogs, chili and other goodies. Please contact us to see what you can bring!

Da Rules...

  • DOUBLE Blind Testing - requires that the secret color and/or number system be used. This system assures a fair competition and is a fundamental tenet of not starting a riot. The color and/or number will be assigned by an officiating member of the Patio Porkers competition and they will be the only person who knows the true identity of the team entrants.  
    Once a winner has been chosen, the judges will inform the officiating staff and the trophy ceremony will begin. At no time will either the contestants or judges know the identity of the submissions.

  • JUDGING TRAY CONTENTS - Each team captain must provide exact quantities and cuts of meat to the judges by the specified time. All garnishes and condiments are prohibited, as they do not reflect the true quality of the cooked meat.

    Meats may  be cooked with lite sauce and/or other liquids, but once the cooking is complete sauces may not be puddled in the bottom of the container. Additionally, the use of commercial sauce will reduce the overall score. Judges will be looking for original flavors as part of the criteria.

    Recommended amounts are as follows:

    Brisket:    7 full slices approximately 1/4” to 3/8” thick

    Pork Baby Back Ribs:    7 individual cut ribs (bone-in)

    Pork:    Pulled, sliced, or chopped as directed by Patio Porker

  • TURN-IN TIME — Turn-in times for each category shall be pre-set. Once this time is set and/or announced no changes will be made. A turn-in window starting (10) minutes before will be recognized. Entrants received after the designated time will not be accepted for judging. 

  • TERMS FOR DISQUALIFICATION – Please don’t cheat, be mean or stupid. Disqualification is usually followed by a firm verbal attack. We are here to have fun, don’t make me get all ugly and stuff.

  • JUDGES — Our judging panel consist of four highly trained and motived individuals who generally did not have much better to do on a Saturday night or their television was broken and they needed a place to watch the game. As much as I would like it, team members are not allowed to be judges. Contestants should not fraternize with judges until after the judging has been completed, (see above about getting ugly and stuff). Judges will be grading based on appearance, texture, taste, originality and overall yummy-ness of the food.

  • ANNOUNCING WINNERS — A very ceremonious type announcement will be made with lots of pomp and circumstance. The winner will receive the high honor of everyone present, a prestigious trophy and bragging rights until next year. In the event of a tie, the winner will be determined via the team captains participating in one game of rock-paper-scissors followed by twenty push-ups, loudest burp after drinking one beer and finally arm wrestling. In the event of a tie for Grand Champion, brisket will be the first tiebreaker, followed by ribs, then by boston butt.